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‘Banksying’ Is The Cruel New Dating Trend You Need To Know About

A new toxic dating trend ‘banksying’ is on the rise – here’s what you need to know.

As if we weren’t all out of toxic dating trends, there’s yet another to creep on the scene.

But different from phubbing and throning, one expert has suggested that ‘Banskying’ has actually been happening for a while − it just has a trendy name now.

Speaking to USA Today, Amy Chan, a dating coach and the author of ‘Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart,’ explained how it can be avoided.

According to the expert, practicing open and honest communication, even when doing so feels uncomfortable, is the way forward.

“Banksying happens more now, especially with the proliferation of dating apps, where people have developed poor dating etiquette,” Chan said.

She noted that the trend shows major signs of ‘a lack of emotional maturity’ as well as a way of ‘dealing with conflict that is rooted in avoidance.’

Emma Hathorn, a relationship expert, also said: “Banksying is something that we have all experienced at one point or another.

“Modern dating is in desperate need of blunt honesty.

“Being upfront, firm but polite shows that you know what you want and are unwilling to waste your time and a potential partner’s time.”

‘Banksying’ gets its name from the elusive street artist Banksy, known for art that seems to pop up out of nowhere.

No one knows who he is, after managing to remain anonymous his entire career.

But in relationship terms, ‘Banksying’ involves slowly withdrawing emotionally from your partner, without telling them that’s what you’re doing.

And when the time comes to finally break up, the Banksy-er often feels better about the situation, having mentally checked out of the relationship long ago.

Meanwhile, the other partner is left blindsided, and probably a little heartbroken.

Chan added: “The person withdrawing gets the ability to process the breakup on their own terms, before they hand the memo to the other person, who ends up being in total shock.

“It’s selfish.”

And while the act has gone on for some time, Hanton revealed that people have tried to define it previously.

She said: “Previously, there hasn’t been a way to express that subtle feeling of dread when a partner has begun to pull away, essentially icing us out.

“Emotionally manipulative, emotionally distant – there are plenty of ways that people have tried to define it.”

The relationship expert noted that the ambiguity of the situation is what makes it so difficult.

Chan explained: “They might not be using their words to tell you – but their actions are.

“They might lie and say everything is ‘fine,’ but you also have to exert that you’re not ‘fine’ because you can pick up the cues of emotional distance.”

She noted that it highlights just how conflict-avoidant people have become.

“It seems like there’s less of an ability to tolerate uncomfortable emotions and hard conversations,” she noted.

Related Article: ‘Mankeeping’ Is The New Reason Women Have Given Up On Dating

Related Article: Gen Z’s New Dating Trend ‘Floodlighting’ Explained By Psychologist

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