A lady from Louisiana has gone viral and started a heated controversy on social media after saying that she is teaching her kids to hit back when someone hits them first.
Brittany Norris, 27, posted a video on TikTok that said without hesitation, “If someone hits my kid, I’m not raising them to tell the teacher.” Not raising a snitch. In the video, she says, “Take care of it yourself, hit back, defend yourself, and if that’s not enough, I’ll step in.”
There is a divide among parents about how to handle school bullies. Credit: StockPlanets / Getty
Then she informed people on social media, “If that’s controversial, I don’t care.” Hit back harder. Thanks.
Her “no snitching” stance got a lot of attention on social media, with over 42,000 likes and hundreds of comments, some of which praised her and others that called her out.Don’t throw the initial punch, but finish it
In a follow-up with TODAY.com, Norris said that she doesn’t think people should initiate fights, but she does think they should end them.
She claimed she would rather be in the principal’s office since her child stood up for herself. Telling the teacher is a good way to deal with problems in the long run, but it doesn’t help right away.
Her video about her 5-year-old kid got a lot of people talking, turning a normal parenting choice into a national issue.
People online said both good and bad things
Some people liked Norris’s fighting remarks, and one individual said, “I was always told, ‘Never throw the first punch, but you better finish it.’”
A second person said that bullies only pick on people who let them, and a third person said that you need to know how to defend yourself in the real world, which is not something they teach you in school.
But some people disagreed and supported a peace-first strategy.
Someone said, “I’m telling my kids to say, ‘Ask them to stop,’ ‘Tell them to stop,’ and ‘Make them stop.’”
What would you tell your kids to do? Credit: SolStock / Getty
This energy is bad. Another user typed, “Hitting people isn’t okay,” while one person added, “I’m teaching them to use their voice first because hitting back doesn’t make sense.”
A TikTok user who said they were an elementary school teacher said, “This is how almost every parent thinks, and fighting is out of control.” We won’t even know if students are having trouble with each other since they won’t inform us. They will just get into a fight.Experts say that there will be real-world effects.
Deborah Gilboa, a family doctor and expert on resilience, says this discussion gets to the heart of what it means to be a good parent.
Gilboa added that teaching individuals what they should or shouldn’t tell their kids about hitting back is wrong because it tells them what their values should be about violence, protection, safety, dignity, and freedom.
Credit: Andrey Bandurenko – stock.adobe.com
She suggests a calm first response, like stating “Don’t do that,” stepping away, or seeking an adult for help. She also understands that some parents may prefer to raise more aggressive kids.
She said that might be the warrior you want to raise, but you should talk to your kid ahead of time about how they might get in trouble because of that.
Credit: pahis – stock.adobe.com
What do you think?
Experts suggest that the conversation is more important than the directive, whether you say “hit back harder” or “talk it out.” It’s not simply what parents educate their kids, but also how and why they do it.
What about Norris?
She’s not backing down. She told TODAY.com, “Stand up for yourself.” And if the fists start flying, she’s not sending her kid to the teacher; she’s putting them back into the fight.
